test drive meme: pre-game opening #1

[jumpscare]

___test drive meme: dead weight edition. Step 1 → Post with the character and journal you're wanting to play. Leave the message blank with your Character's Name | Character's Canon. Step 2 → Other people respond to your thread! Fight zombies, deal with the "fictional character" news, whatever you please. Step 3 → ??? Step 4 → PROFIT! Step 5 → Spread the word! Bring a friend! Make a random announcement on D_M! Get this post to crack the hundreds! It doesn't matter if you end up apping or not! This is a place of fun and meeting new people before the waiting!

Text somewhat shamelessly stolen from assguardians.

Comments

Well hey there buddy

[tasteslikecoconut]

[So Tony finally has his bearings straight, for the most part. He found a hoodie in someone's dresser they'd left behind after whatever the hell happened to this place went down, to help cover up the light of his reactor. A size too big for him, but he can deal. He's got himself a rusty crowbar, but that's all he's been able to find of any worth against the drooling idiots roaming outside.]

[Now he's pilfering through the cupboards of the houses around the small town he'd wound himself in. Like some animal without any inhibitions except survive, survive. Oh how the mighty have fallen. He's without a suit, without food, without scotch, without... anyone from 'home', whatever that is. What he wouldn't do to talk to JARVIS right now. His Starkphone didn't have service, like he expected, and he'd turned it off anyway to conserve energy.]

[But then there's a small rustle from the nearest room. His crowbar is at the ready in an instant.]

o//

[comicbookvillain]

[It was a lot to take in - he'd prided himself on his ability to comprehend, to deal with numerous things at once, to process things that others could not. But this, it seemed like an inexplicably cruel joke. Yet that didn't mean that he could simply give up living. Whether or not he was a fictional character didn't change the fact the zombies seemed really quite real (ironic, when that really should have been the other way around.)

Maybe Maslow was right about the hierarchy of needs after all - survival became certainly did become a quick priority. At least he knew how to fight, how to think, how to out run slowly moving zombies. All in all, it could have been worse.

Yet the thing in the other room didn't sound as slow moving as a zombie - quicker and somewhat more frantically searching for something which seemed a little out side of the normal "Let me have your braaaaaaains" vibe he was getting from the things outside. He picks up what appears to be an extremely dull kitchen knife, though his fighting style had always been some what more martial arts based. It could be useful. You could kill a man with anything, if you tried hard enough.

No time like the present to investigate, so he heads into the other room, knife tucked away in his shoe (mental note: find something to make it sharp, later) and finds not a zombie, but a man with a crowbar who looked, well, just as out of place here as he felt.

He raises his hands up - no weapons, see? Don't attack him with the crowbar, bro.]

The movements sounded too quick to be another [wow saying zombie outloud seems really weird] one of those things - and what a relief, unless they've gotten better at mocking actual thought.

[tasteslikecoconut]

[Tony takes half a step back to set his footing when the man comes into the room, half expecting blood and gore and gutteral undead moans, but receiving none of the sort.]

[It takes him a few precious seconds, staring at every limb and every exposed inch of skin, looking for bites, scratches, anything that would potentially turn him. He finds none, but then again, the guy had a weird outfit on. Like a...]

Seriously, why do people get their ridiculous suits and I don't get mine. [This is not even cool. Anyway.] Look, I don't know who you are and frankly I don't care. Try to kill me and you get a crowbar to the face, just a fair warning.

[comicbookvillain]

Understandable, really.

[Though he did sort of care about the whole who-you-are bit, if only in the way that he finally had someone else to talk to. Anyway, he puts his hands down. If we're going on a no names because we don't care basis, at least there are other questions that are important that can be asked.]

How long have you been here?

[tasteslikecoconut]

Glad we got the important things out of the way first.

[Tony offers one more scrutinizing look before shuffling through the cupboards again. Beans. Lots of beans. Can of peaches. Olive oil. He pauses at 'Pepper', even if the spice had no correlation to the person other than the combination of letters to form the same word. Was she alright? Was she even here? He blinks and turns back to the other human.]

Here here? I've been in this house five minutes. In this supposed reality where the place I came from is a giant sham and I'm not really a person? Five days, twenty two hours and about forty six odd minutes. Why? Does it matter?

[comicbookvillain]

[Seasoning: suddenly more interesting than Adrian.]

It apparently matters to you.

[Down to the minute and everything.]

[tasteslikecoconut]

[So much more interesting.]

It's something to focus on other than the fact that the undead are walking around like it's an every day occurrence. Are you here for any particular reason, or did you just want an actual person to prod with that calculating stare you've got going on.

[Watch as he's an asshole to everyone even when 'everyone' are incredibly hard to come by.]

[comicbookvillain]

[what a jerk.]

Not that I'm against the idea of talking to someone who can verbalize, but that wasn't my purpose here. I was also looking for some sort of...anything useful, really.

[so exactly like playing legend of zelda. except that wasn't out yet, so think more like Adventure, the text-based computer game from the 70s. Rubbing the electric lamp is not particularly rewarding. Anyway, nothing exciting happens]

[tasteslikecoconut]

[Tony Stark in a nutshell.]

Good luck with that one. But here, I'll play nice.

[And a can of beans is now being chucked your way, Adrian. Savor them, they're hard to come by.]

[comicbookvillain]

[And he catches it easily. I guess beggars can't be choosers.]

Thanks. There are a few dull utensils in the other room.

[you know if you didn't want to eat those with your hands or w/e]

[tasteslikecoconut]

[That caught Tony's attention.]

Nice reflexes. You weren't even looking. Also, did you do a perimeter check of this place? I really don't want to be interrupted by moaning dead people while I'm eating, kind of ruins my appetite.

[comicbookvillain]

[it's waaaay bigger than a bullet, it's not even a challenge.]

I did. Considering how slow they are, I would say we would have fair warning if they try to get closer.

[tasteslikecoconut]

[His life went from pretty great - saving the world from aliens, awesome girlfriend, being Iron Man - to pretty dismal alarmingly fast. It was a hell of a reality check, no pun intended, and he was trying to wrap his mind around the ridiculousness of his whole world being fictional, but that didn't prove this place was real, either.]

Well you're not stupid, you have that going for you at least. So, what, you want to stick with me, or go on your merry way? I've been told before I don't play well with others.

[comicbookvillain]

I imagine between the two of us, were there to be an attack, we could handle it better than being alone. That seems a bit more important than getting along well.

[besides he knows a lot of people who don't play well with others. have you met the watchmen.]

[tasteslikecoconut]

[There's a moment of just Tony staring at Adrian. Calculating.]

Fair enough.

[No, no he hasn't. Besides, you're not real superheroes except for Manhattan and okay fine maybe you, but only because you're smart.]

So what's with the crazy armor, or is that all for show.

[comicbookvillain]

[He looks down at it for a moment as if oh, right, that's what I'm wearing. also shut up and let them have their dreams]


It isn't for show. At home, I am a superhero, though I doubt that means much here.

[tasteslikecoconut]

So it's rea - wait, what? Superhero? You too?

[comicbookvillain]

Well, I was. [though they're apparently all fictional, but details.] Apparently this place likes them. Seems a fitting role to fight the undead.

[tasteslikecoconut]

[That does make sense, actually. The sharpest minds meant to repopulate and survive.]

Uhhuh. So what's yours?

[comicbookvillain]

[see, it's a good theory.]

My what? My superhero name?

[saying that outloud sounds so silly]

[tasteslikecoconut]

Your 'superpower'.

[Little air quotation marks included.]

[comicbookvillain]

I don't have one not in that sense.

[tasteslikecoconut]

What, you're a superhero without a superpower? Kinda hypocritical, isn't it? I mean if you can't do anything super amazing, then -

[Wait a second. Shut up, Tony.]

- okay fine, what do you mean, exactly. Do you turn into a giant green rage monster if you get really angry? Because that is something you should definitely say up front to just get it out of the way now.

[comicbookvillain]

Does that happen, where you're from?

Holy shit Adrian lol

[tasteslikecoconut]

[Ooooh nice deflection. Too bad you're talking to the master of deflection.]

Maybe. Answer the question.