test drive meme: pre-game opening #1

[jumpscare]

___test drive meme: dead weight edition. Step 1 → Post with the character and journal you're wanting to play. Leave the message blank with your Character's Name | Character's Canon. Step 2 → Other people respond to your thread! Fight zombies, deal with the "fictional character" news, whatever you please. Step 3 → ??? Step 4 → PROFIT! Step 5 → Spread the word! Bring a friend! Make a random announcement on D_M! Get this post to crack the hundreds! It doesn't matter if you end up apping or not! This is a place of fun and meeting new people before the waiting!

Text somewhat shamelessly stolen from assguardians.

Comments

[deputyusmarshal]

[He's tempted to say "but it's not real" but...

He's obviously struggling for words right now and looking off to the side because MIDDLE DISTANCE HOLDS THE ANSWERS.]

You're nice lookin' and all but that wasn't why I was askin'. Not that I wouldn't just... Wow, you really never did watch those movies.

[He leans back away and lets a breath out through his nose. He waves his hand between them to like... ward off evil spirits or some shit.]

Let's stop for a second, rewind and think back to the movies. Virginity's a big survival... thing... I guess.

[And just when you think it's over IT COMES RIGHT BACK.]

... Never?

[uncurse]

I have a kid. Where do you think he came from? [ that aside, ] And, that's sexist. [ because she knows damn well that his virgin status would make no difference. ]

[deputyusmarshal]

[The corners of his mouth turn down for a second as he thinks that over.]

I don't write the movies. Just watch 'em. In any case you probably shouldn't be, you know, having sex during all this. It never turns out well. Well I'm sure it turns out well but... you know what? Never mind.

[uncurse]

Keep this up and I might just shoot you as a preemptive measure. You're looking twitchy, might be infected. [ seriously raylan why are you so fixated on sex; she has no interest in it right now because there are zombies. ]

[deputyusmarshal]

[HE'S NOT FIXATED HE'S JUST... A MAN, DAMMIT. ANYWAY he sort of... chuckles at that.]

You really think you can pull on me?

[uncurse]

I think it takes more than a ten gallon hat and a hokey accent to make me believe otherwise.

[deputyusmarshal]

[Oh, he's fuming now. Lady, it ain't 10 gallons B|]

Tell me, does it take one hour or two to get those jeans on?

[uncurse]

One more thing you'll never need to know.

[deputyusmarshal]

[He holds up a finger to stop the conversation for minute while he gathers himself.]

If I wanted to know I'd have asked "How long's it take to get in those?" But of course a judgmental woman, [he gestures to her] such as yourself, assumes the worst of me.

Being the gentleman I am I'm going to offer you the chance to restart this conversation on the right foot. Ma'am [He puts his hand to his chest again] I'm Deputy U.S. Marshal Raylan Givens. [He gestures back to her] And you are?

[uncurse]

Well, since we're waving titles around to see who can pee further ... Sheriff Emma Swan. [ she crosses her arms over her chest, straightening. ] And, for your information, Deputy Marshal Givens, I believe you're the one who needs the reset button. Not me.

[deputyusmarshal]

[Lawl, he peed so much further... I mean... Sheriff? That's nice.]

See? Now you're just bein' difficult.